mrbrown: L'infantile terrible of Singapore

Forum: Singapore girls got "no neh neh, low sex drive and dead fish in bed"

In a forum thread that runs for 129 pages, about how a friend's husband was seduced by a China girl, one poster, named "genius" said:

When young, SG girls are slim, pretty, sophisticated and intelligent so kena tempted to marry. Then find out after unwrapping that got no neh neh, low sex drive and dead fish in bed. Somemore don't know how to cook and do housework.

Five years into the marriage, not so slim and pretty anymore, sophisticated and intelligent become nagging and grouchy. This is when the men are about
32-38, and realise tio pian, BIG TIME.

His rant continues for quite a bit. That's some brutal candour. But then he is anonymous in a forum.

The Chief Justice gets it

This piece of news caught my eye in the papers the other day.

ST: No jail for French m-cyclist

TODAY: Motorcyclist convicted of road rage wins appeal

Chief Justice Chan Sek Keong replaced the jail time of a French motorcyclist who punched a driver, with a $2000 fine because he felt it was too excessive, as it was not unprovoked.

The guy Mille punched was a driver, a Mr Chong, who tried to squeeze his car between another car and Mr Mille's motorbike, bumping his bike and sending it into a dangerous wobble.

I am not going to defend the punching/road rage, but the exchange between Deputy Public Prosecutor Gillian Koh-Tan and CJ Chan was very telling.

The DPP argued that Mr Chong Yuen had only caused a slight wobble with his collision. Mille "was unhurt and the motorcycle was not damaged," she said.

To which CJ Chan replied, "Don't you know it's very dangerous to knock into a motorcycle because the rider could fall and be run over by a car. You see the accidents. Who gets killed? It's the cyclists and motorcyclists."

CJ Chan also said, "Why was he (Mr Chong) in such a hurry? Doesn't he know that it's very dangerous to knock into a motorcycle?"

Amen and amen.

And when CJ asked if the driver was charged for his dangerous driving, the answer was no.

They should have charged that driver. It is time we came down hard on drivers who endanger the lives of vulnerable users of the roads.

The DPP's remarks, "He was unhurt and the motorcycle was not damaged" are symptomatic of a society that does not place the "burden of responsibility" with the driver when it comes to collisions. So tell me, when is a driver considered endangering a cyclist or motorcyclist? When the bike is a pile of twisted metal and the rider splattered all over the tarmac?

The minute a driver so much as comes too close, it already dangerous. That is why there is a 1.5m minimum safety distance law in place (that is hardly enforced or adhered to).

If everyone followed the DPP's thinking, then every driver can just buzz a cyclist (drive very close) or graze his tires, as long as the fella doesn't fall down and die.

I am encouraged by CJ Chan's understanding of the dangers faced by riders. Now let's see some tougher action on drivers who put other road users in danger.

In New York and Delaware, they passed "Vulnerable User" laws to protect to protect pedestrians, cyclists, wheelchairs and other users of the roads that don’t have a metal cage surrounding them.

Here, I'd settle for stricter (or ANY) enforcement of the 1.5m-when-passing rule.

Dover Park Hospice SUNday Walk 2010

Do go and support the Dover Park Hospice Sunday Walk to be held at Tanjong Beach, Sentosa. The walk is to raise funds for a purpose-built hospice providing palliative medical care to terminally-ill patients of all races and religions.

Date is 5th September 2010 (What day? Sunday lah. Duh). The carnival starts at 2.30pm and the walk will be at 5pm.

Registration details here. Facebook Event page here.

Tweets from National Day Rally 2010

It was fun watching the annual 3-hour extravangaza that is the National Day Rally by PM Lee Hsien Loong and tweeting at the same time. The rally even ended with the song "Home" by Kit Chan. I half expected them to shoot some major fireworks to end it with a bang.

Anyways, I had so much fun on twitter that I thought I'd share some of my National Day Rally tweets and those of others. You can read more at this hashtag, #ndrsg:

1. @mrbrown: Rapturous applause breaks out at the end of the Chinese segment of PM Lee's National Day Rally. Audience toilet break!
2. @mrbrown: Canada welcomes immigrants, so Microsoft hires talent there. Canada, as we all know, is the same size as Singapore.


3. @mrbrown: Had to take a break from PM's speech to help kid wash backside after poopoo. Back to tv. Yep, PM still on immigrants.


4. @coughybean: They changed the translator!! The previous one mentioned 生产孩子？ manufacturing kids? Wahahahah!!


5. @coughybean: #NDRsg hits two-hour mark without a single unexpected twist, closely resembling every M. Night Shyamalan movie this decade.


6. @ilovemudding:"At least if you miss one, the next train will come in a few minutes" #statingtheobvious


7. @_danielchoo: Raise the transport charges and ask for patience. Genius.


8. @kkyz13: 1 extra train for morning rush hour! OMG ONE EXTRA TRAIN!!! OMG I WET MYSELF IN EXCITEMENT. *sarcasm* (I passed him a twitter tissue, just in case)


9. @yuhui: Singapore growth rate: 2008: 1%, 2009: -1%, 2010: projected 15%. PM Lee says that makes it average 5%. Lots of analysts are ROFLMAO.


10. @mrbrown: Personally I feel PM's speech will be better with Keynote instead of PowerPoint… and of course, Bobbi's Pole Dancers.


11. @mrbrown: I tell you what. Here is $9000, I put into the government's CPF account, then we forget about the National Service. Deal?


12. @fakestcom: Breaking news: The next National Day Rally will be in one year's time. (Frankly, I feel that very day should be NDR. 3 hours of tv settled.)


13. @mrbrown: http://mrbrwn.co/dpNg9o Best paid political leader in the world tells his people to lower wage expectations.


14. @mrbrown: Don't worry PM! This month got many Singapore Spirit, watching getai & feasting! Sure thrive! http://mrbrwn.co/a3BAJR


15. @Fake_PMLee: MPs cheer #NDRsg speech. Yes, I expect nothing less from them.


16. @natashannz: The #ndrsg rally seems so much more interesting on twitter than on tv!


17. @csllim: aiya, just simply say "I want you all to do it without rubber"


18. @jenny_0326: Is it just me or did this year's National Day Rally sound like all the NDRs I've heard over the past 5 years? #singapore #ndrsg


19. @k0pio: how come this year's #ndrsg no mee siam mai hum


20. @huiminchan: Wonder what we will say to the next generation: 'You don't know hardship, during my time we only have one train every 2 min.'


21. @WhispersWW: PM should be proud of SG population if #ndrsg timeline is anything to go by-creativity, humour & expression r vital in a thriving society


22. @esotism: it would be so awesome if all #NDRSG tweets appeared on a huge screen behind the PM on TV


23. @rheumatic_anus: @Fake_PMLee I think you should explain further that the ONE extra train during peak hour is actually a very very very long train.


24. @rheumatic_anus: The best way to integrate immigrants with citizens is to intercourse them.


25. @kixes: Did the PM say that the 4 races of SGP are Chinese, Indians, Malays and The Others?! I KNEW IT, WE ARE THE ISLAND OF LOST!


26. @WhispersWW: Thoroughly enjoyed the #ndrsg timeline! Ironic, humorous, biting, observant and just plain expressive, engaging & interactive :-D


27. @AdrC82: Why this year no Jack Neo mentioned in #NDRSG 2010?

And finally, the tweet that made it to Top Tweets for #ndrsg (tankew tankew to all who retweeted):

@mrbrown: blahblahblah Foreigners good for us blahblah Foreigners good blahblah Make babies blahblah We need foreigners #ndrsg summarized

NDP Rally 2010: Pink overload

I think the PM should ask his National Day Rally production folks to go easy on the pink. My eyes are now seeing everything with a pink hue now.

CNNGo column: mrbrown on the proper use of metaphors

Latest CNNGo.com "Say What? with mrbrown" column: mrbrown on the proper use of metaphors

Excerpt:

The Youth Olympic Games (YOG) is finally over. Singaporeans can finally return to their lives and embrace the return of the center lane where drivers had to give way to YOG buses. It was not a smooth few weeks here. While we had highs like watching the Opening and Closing Ceremonies, cheering our Young Lions' heroic performance in the Under-15 football matches and seeing young Isabelle Li take the silver in table tennis, the YOG also made some people mad.

Take Abdul Malik Ghazali, for instance. This guy was so mad he posted very angry remarks on his Facebook page and an "I hate the Youth Olympic Games Organizing Committee" page that got him arrested on charges of "incitement of violence."

What did the fellow say? Well, his diatribe against the recent floods, a terrorist's escape and the money spent on the YOG ended with the sentence, "THIS IS THE TIME FOR US TO BURN VIVIEN BALAKRISHNAN AND THE PAP!!!!! RALLY TOGETHER AND VOTE THEM OUT!!!"

The police seem to have taken issue with his use of "burn" which he later said was a metaphor, not meant to be taken literally.

Personally, I think his only crime was typing in all caps and the overuse of exclamation marks (I suggest a month's community service for every unnecessary exclamation mark). You may even take him to task for misspelling the name of our Sports Minister (it's "Vivian" and not "Vivien", and he's a bloke). But I think anyone with half a brain will realize that in the context of what Mr Ghazali wrote, he was not inciting any violence or asking folks to set a minister on fire. (cont'd)

the mrbrown show: upsize the youth olympics

Singapore ponders how to improve the YOG at mrbrownshow.com!

I just made some virtual fireworks go off, I think

Just for fun, I sent a tweetwave by tweeting with the hashtag #yogwave and fireworks went off at the virtual stadium at http://bit.ly/yogwave!!! And just I did that, the other open browser window on my iMac was showing the live feed of the Closing Ceremony of the Youth Olympic Games, and yes, the fireworks went off there too.

Timing very good ah? Hahaha!

Join the fun and tweet #yogwave too!

mrbrown.com now has a custom short domain, mrbrwn.co!

You may soon see mrbrown.com links online, especially Twitter, with this URL: mrbrwn.co

That is my new custom short domain. Using the bit.ly Pro service, I am now able to shorten links to my posts on mrbrown.com with that URL.

I know, I know, I only save two letters, and I could have made it shorter but I like that you can still tell what it spells.

For example:

http://mrbrwn.co/aS6iwk

…will link to:

http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2010/08/manila-cop-pewpew.html

Nice, yeah?

In fact, it looks like every link I shorten and share, even external ones, will be prefaced with mrbrwn.co, so you will know it's from me. I am not sure if that is a good thing or not, but I am a sucker for shiny internet toys.

Shorter, easier to share. Save some letters, save the earth.

Manila cop pew-pew

Not sure if this has been photoshopped but this was allegedly a photo from the Manila Bus Hostage fiasco, where Rolando Mendoza hijacked a bus of Hong Kong tourists.

If indeed this was a real Manila cop with his "gun", then the Manila police were way more ill-equipped than we thought.

At the BBC: Ten things the Philippines bus siege police got wrong

Also floating around the Net, suggestions have begun to describe the Philippines SWAT team:

1. Sorry, We Aren't Trained

2. Special Window Assault Tactics

3. Seems We Are Timid

4. Sorry, We Are Takot (Tagalog for Afraid)

Also seen online, this photo of Manila's new tourist attraction:

Truly a *facepalm* moment.